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Take the Reins

Why Abstinence? Why wait until marriage?

According to recent studies, one out of every three females in the US gets pregnant at least once before the age of 20.1

This results in over 800,000 teen pregnancies each year. 2

Three of every ten of these pregnancies ends in abortion. 3

Teen parents are more likely than other teens to:

  • Drop out of school
  • Have additional out-of-wedlock children
  • Change jobs
  • Be on welfare
  • Have mental and physical health problems 4

Children born to teens are at increased risk for:

  • Low birth weight
  • Lower cognitive scores
  • School failure
  • Becoming teenage parents
  • Incarceration
  • Drug abuse 5,6

Is this the future you envision for yourself? Abstinence allows you the freedom to grow, accomplish your life goals and have children within the context of marriage, when you and your spouse are committed and ready to have children. As a Christian, abstinence helps you accomplish God’s plan for your life.

Abstinence buys you time to find your life partner

The story is as old as time itself. Girl meets boy. Boy wants sex. Girl wants “a relationship.” Girl gives in, thinking it will help her keep “the relationship.” Girl gets pregnant.

You can imagine lots of different endings for the story above – but none of them will be too happy. When there is a romantic relationship there will be pressure to have sex. That’s just the way we are wired-up as humans. Romance is tied to sex. To think otherwise, or to imagine you “won’t go that far,” is to fool yourself.

On the other hand, if you abstain from sex and carefully keep yourself out of situations where there may be pressure to have sex, you will buy yourself the time you need to find your real mate for life-long marriage.

What is secondary virginity?

Secondary virginity is a second chance at chastity, to regain your self respect and minimize your risk of contracting an STD/STI. Secondary virginity comes from recognizing that you’ve made mistakes in the past – and re-dedicating yourself to avoiding those mistakes in the future.

Project Reality speaker Scott Phelps compares each person’s sexuality to a precious rose. Even if you have lost your virginity and a petal or two is missing from your rose, it is still a beautiful thing – and from now on it can be saved for your real mate for life-long marriage.


1. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. 14 and Younger, The sexual Behavior of Young Adolescents. Washington, DC: The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy; May 2003. Available at
2. National Center for Health Statistics. Births: Final data for 2002. National Vital Statistics Reports. 2003, 52(10). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics, US Dept. of Health and Human Services; 2003.
3. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Abortion Surveillance – United States. 2000. MMWR 2003; 52(SS-12). Atlanta, GA: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. US Dept of Health and Human Services: 2003. Available at:
4. Coley, R.L., Chase-Lansdale P.L. Adolescent pregnancy and parenthood: Recent evidence and future directions. Am Psychol. 1998;53(2): 152-166
5,6. US General Accounting Office. Teen Mothers: Selected Socio-Demographic Characteristics and Risk Factors. Washington, DC: US General Accounting Office; June 1998. GAO?HEHS-98-141.

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